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Keep you eyes on the road and hold the handlebars steady

olga kostrova poems

Once in a while someone (a client, a fan, a friend) sends me a poem…

And here was shared with me today, and what I want to share with you, lovers…

If, O mind, you want to ride
first, tie your loincloth well
With sincerity
You will succeed

Putting one foot on the pedal
With a push and a hop, move forward,
All rituals and rites vanished
once you are standing on those pedals.
Keep you eyes on the road
and hold the handlebars steady.

Seated firmly on the bike, O mind
Maintain your equipoise
Breath in, retain
Without looking left or right
Pedal on, and recite your mantra

Be on the lookout for good roads
leave all pedantic arguments behind
On becoming a Master,
Take the bicycle on the rough drive
When inner and outer are one
You will be adept
Then ring, O mind
The bell of discernment

The Sage Madhav thus floats effortlessly
You, Bhavani, because of you Karma
squeeze the brakes too hard
Riding at full speed;
Naturally you fall.
Such stupidity, O lovely one!

– Song of Bhavani, the Baul

Is This What’s Passing for The American Dream? How We Can Cut Right Through Chaos to Find Cool

jan hutchins back to roots

What do you imagine as the reason movies these days are so intense, music so loud, lyrics so crude, news so sensational, distractions so common? These are the questions we grapple with in the response-ability to remove the roots of violence in our world.

I wonder why cruelty today passes for pornography? Many were literally unable to withstand reading Christopher Hedges’ bare knuckle details (in his book “The End of Illusion”) of just how sadistic and anti-feminine modern porn really is. Yet disturbingly, that’s what is selling to the industry’s significantly teenage audience.

Arno Gruen said, “If people base their identity on identifying with authority, freedom causes anxiety. They must then conceal the victim in themselves by resorting to violence against others.”

What if having been bullied, abused and/or neglected by authorities as children in even the “best” of homes, we survived the only way that made sense – by turning off our feelings, locking up our hearts, putting on a “whatever” mask and like living dead, walk through our lives as zombies, barely able to feel even the most intense sensations?

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.Bessel A. van der Kolk.

Is this what’s passing for The American Dream?

  •  Living overwhelmed by stress and distraction.
  •  Living without receiving enough love and connection.
  •  Living alienated from nature.
  •  Living alienated from one another.
  •  Living alienated from our work.
  •  Living alienated from ourselves.
  •  Living ruled by power and privilege rather than truth and justice.

Ironically, aloneness is at the heart of the current cultural craving for connection – the hyperactivity and constant digital downloads – any possible diversion from facing actual solitude which feels like a kind of suffering only actual death can end. Hedges describes the porn industry as just one of our cultural illusions that make up a modern death complex, which includes the epidemic of suicides, senseless violence, marauding multi-national corporations and the high-volume stimuli trying to penetrate our shields.

“Trauma victims cannot recover until they become familiar with and befriend the sensations in their bodies. Being frightened means that you live in a body that is always on guard. Angry people live in angry bodies. The bodies of child-abuse victims are tense and defensive until they find a way to relax and feel safe. In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past. – Bessel A. van der Kolk.

There’s little chance for release when our culture resorts to war analogies to describe its approach to every problem, so we at the PhysioEmoDynamics Institute choose a different path. We choose to face what is.

I’ve produced a Webinar that introduces new tools and techniques to access the body’s ageless, natural wisdom to free us from traumas and pains.

You can sign up to see it here. There is no cost.

Nietzsche puts it this way, “The demon that you can swallow gives you its power, and the greater life’s pain, the greater life’s reply.”

So, how to swallow this painful culture of violence and alienation and have it produce an even greater amount of sensitivity and deep connection?

Blaise Pascal: “All of humanity’s problems stem from a person’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

So, what if instead of attacking the problem we begin by meditating on it, sitting quietly with it, alone, for a long time? After all, violence is, it is powerful and it is deeply entrenched. Let’s sit quietly with that, own that and be with the fact of that.

That’s the introspection and deep soul work my wife and I do on our many travels. This summer Olga and I are in the south of France, observing the ways of the world, taking long walks in the woods, letting in the abundance and emotions of our surroundings. Waiting for replies ready to emerge…

jan hutchins back to roots

“On the journey of the warrior-bodhisatvva, the path goes down, not up, as if the mountain pointed toward the earth instead of the sky.  Instead of transcending the suffering of all creatures, we move toward turbulence and doubt whenever we can.  We explore the reality and unpredictability of insecurity and pain and we try not to push it away.  If it takes years, if it takes lifetimes, we let it be as it is.  At our pace, without speed or aggression, we move down and down and down.  With us move millions of others, our companions in awakening from fear.” – Pema Chodron.

As we sit and profoundly relax we slowly release from our body:

All the violence that has passed.
All the violence that may come.
All the violence that is happening now.
All attempts to figure anything out about the violence.
All efforts to make anything happen about the violence.

Instead, we relax, right now, and rest into something deeper than we can even understand.

On the way down we discover right underneath the angry urge to wage war on a problem is the ego desire to know the solution and rush to apply it to ease our discomfort.

Richard Feynman said, “I feel a responsibility as a scientist who knows the great value of a satisfactory philosophy of ignorance, and the progress made possible by such a philosophy, progress which is the fruit of freedom of thought….to proclaim the value of this freedom and to teach that doubt is not to be feared, but that it is to be welcomed as the possibility of a new potential for human beings. If you know that you are not sure, you have a chance to improve the situation. I want to demand this freedom for future generations.”

Let’s admit something about dealing with violence. If we really knew what to do we’d have done it long ago. Let’s give ourselves room to admit our ignorance and keep dropping down, accepting possibility and mystery…

Long before the spoken word or civilization developed, the reptilian brain’s survival instincts maintained our essential core functioning. The way we live today, constantly rushing, competing and achieving, has us in a constant “fight or flight”state and unable to access that core instinct.

“The body, as opposed to the ego, desires pleasure, not power. Bodily pleasure is the source from which all our good feelings and good thinking stems. If the bodily pleasure of an individual is destroyed, he becomes an angry, frustrated, and hateful person. His thinking becomes distorted, and his creative potential is lost. He develops self-destructive attitudes.Alexander Lowen.

Let’s wait – long enough, drop deep enough, to access those source feelings and thinking!

Let’s do our work until we:

  • CAN swallow our demonic history of violence
  • CAN admit our culture is deeply traumatized
  • CAN see we have shut down emotionally to survive
  • CAN know the response to violence comes only as we
  • CAN feel safe again.

When we have released the protections, reopened our hearts, healed the wounds and created safe space for our souls to venture out into the light again, only then will we be able to actually personally feel the violence and allow in the experience in a way we become empowered toward action that heals.

In the Talmud it says “The highest form of wisdom is kindness”.

“A great transformation occurs when we begin to cultivate an attitude of unwavering kindness. Kindness towards even the most inconvenient parts of our selves.

It is only through the eyes of kindness that we are able to see truly, that we are able to recognize the preciousness of all shades of life and cultivate real love for self and others. By choosing kindness, we honor the most direct, and highest form of wisdom: the wisdom of the heart.

Because the heart accepts everything as it is. It knows no judgment, demands no improvement — it holds everything dear. When we give in to this radical acceptance, life recovers its innate dignity.

Release the pressure of demanding that things change, and suddenly everything is set free to move naturally in the direction of wholeness.

But true kindness is not for the faint of heart. It is a spiritual rebellion that always begins with the Self.

Turn over those tables of self-cruelty. Silence the merchants of self-improvement. Take all icons of gods and men off the walls and hang a mirror. Whatever idol of a better you that you have placed on your altar, let it break now. Let yourself come into your own Holy of Holies exactly as you are. Fall into your own arms and never let go.

Incredibly, it is only when we fully enter our own hearts and give our kindness to ourselves that it can naturally begin to flow over to all others.

When you are feeling lost, overwhelmed, angry or frustrated, whether it is shame, blame, guilt or fear that are running havoc, simply acknowledge your experience, drop the self-judgment, and no matter your species of pain, be kind.” – Jim Rogers.

Having achieved kindness we graduate to being ready to work with others, or as Woody Allen put it: “Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.”

So, everywhere we go as non-violence what should we know?

Noam Chomsky said, “The general population doesn’t even know what’s happening, and it does’t even know that it doesn’t know.”

“Indeed, they are so dumbed down by political propaganda and anesthetized by advertisements spewed out by a product-first person-second consumerist machine that they can’t even think straight, let alone live healthy lifestyles. Worst of all, they don’t realize that only they have the power to transform themselves into heroes. One way of transforming ourselves from victims into heroes is to cultivate a soul powerful enough to empower the ego. This is a top-down approach to empowerment. It requires daily practice, consummate discipline, self-affirmations”. – Gary Z McGee.

In other words we must do the work necessary to be non-violent ourselves, because:

“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people the right to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson.

“The more you empower people, the more empowered you become. It creates a positive feedback loop, an evolutionary feedback loop that cannot be stopped.” – David DeGraw.

And the final awareness we offer in our joyous practice here at the PhysioEmoDynamics Institute is to release certainty and any desire for completion because…

“…what one needs in this universe is not certainty but the courage and nerve of the gambler; not fixed conviction but adaptability; not firm ground whereupon to stand but skill in swimming.” – Alan Watts.

I am, Jan Hutchins, an executive coach with The PhysioEmoDynamics Institute. Along with my wife Olga Kostrova, we train entrepreneurs, executives and you in these healing, empowering practices.

For free 1 on 1 coaching with me to end suffering in your life and the lives of others,  click here to register.

Learn the basics about healing yourself and others here: PAIN & STRESS MANAGEMENT WEBINAR: How to Use Pleasure to End Pain.

On Feeling Alive, Being Productive & At Peace: What Is Missed In The Coarseness Of Experiences

On Feeling Alive, Being Productive & At Peace - What Is Missed In The Coarseness Of Experiences

Once in a while I am blessed with beautiful letters from my clients. I am moved to share one I received today (with the client’s permission).


“Our talk today was very helpful to me. I see that i am creating friction around everything I do, creating this layer of stickiness an abrasive ness- and tangles and rough surfaces so that things don’t go smoothly around everything I do, and around everyone I know , my cats included.
I add some kind of a layer so that it feels like there is friction.. which I think I do because otherwise I don’t feel like I’m living or connected if I don’t feel friction.
this keeps me in state of fight or flight all the time, always having to get hooks in, always having to have an edge, always being on the defensive or the offensive.
If I just peacefully went to work and wrote my thesis, without additional thoughts, and peacefully just drove myself over to teach yoga, without additional thoughts of how it might go and what might happen and all this crazy shit that goes through my head all the time, or if I could just notice my cat and not have a million thoughts about how he’s sick or how this is this and how about this and what about this and what about that… I would just do things more smoothly and in peace and tranquility.
I know that would be healthier for me. and things would certainly get done quickly and easily.
I’ve been meditating tonight asking myself why am I doing this? Why am i adding this layer of turmoil to everything when there really is no turmoil?
I know I could easily Sit down and write, it’s easy for me to drive over to somewhere and teach, it’s easy for me to pet my cat everyday and if I need to take him to the vet simply take him and not get all freaked out over what’s going on with him.
like you said its all the additional thoughts that I add to every situation I’m in that get me all riled up and actually make it difficult for me to do things that are otherwise very easy for me to do.
I’ve been lying in bed asking myself what is this doing to serve me? Why have I been doing this?
I don’t feel alive unless I feel turmoil and friction and drama. I think it helps me feel more connected and more alive. So that I don’t just live past things and they go by and then I don’t even realize they were ever there.
I also grew up in a household where it was nonstop friction , fighting, and turmoil, and then I moved to Israel , where its a hundred times worse than that… So it is definitely something that I am used to doing and being and living.
but again I will state this, it is not healthy.
so I proposed to myself in tonight’s meditation that what if I was simply to live peacefully, the same philosophy and the same way I teach yoga to my gentle yoga students. ?
Doing things without that extra layer frenetic frenzy, and without adding the extra layer of turbulence and judgment and questioning and worrying and anxiety and noise.
Is it possible for me, Anna, to live my life doing things in a peaceful tranquil quiet way?
what would I not like about that?
I think I will try to do it that way from now on as an experiment and to see if it improves my physical health as a measurement of how healthy it is for me. And I will also see how I get through things and how much stress is involved and I know that I will see myself get through the writing so quickly, and just get to do all the things I have to do in a day so easily, and maybe they will pass me by quickly because I will not connect myself and attach myself so deeply to them with all this conflict and friction like before. I don’t want my life to pass me by so I guess I want to feel my life, but I’ve never considered feeling it in a different way. The only way I’ve ever known how to feel something is thru a very aggressive stressful way of feeling. i Don’t think I’ve ever done a lot of practice of moving through things in my life in a peaceful flowing quiet tranquil gentle way.
It is time for me to try this and see what it yields.
So that is just a little recap of what came to me after today’s session. thank you so much!
It’s another new thing for me, and so im a little bit uncomfortable and apprehensive about moving towards this new thing, but like you told me almost a year ago, take a breath and push through the fear.
I need to trust the universe that I will be okay to let go of the drama and the attachment and allow myself to quietly gently peacefully flow through things and not to worry that I won’t feel anything, but to have faith that I WILL feel and that I will still be connected to the world, without having to have the friction in the drama.”

On Feeling Alive, Being Productive & At Peace - What Is Missed In The Coarseness Of Experiences

My response to my clients and everybody who resonates with her dilemma:

“Sweetheart, what a beautiful insight you derived to from this self-investigation! Bravo!
All that you shared is true…
I know it might feel as if you don’t feel turmoil you don’t feel alive… But the fact is – you ARE alive, so why suffer while at it?
How about try for a month this new way? What I hope you will discover is life beyond I in EVERYTHING you encounter, which right now is all missed in the coarseness of experiences – all beautiful subtle things get missed…
When you are at peace you feel alive and united with ALL that is alive, even a flower, even a tree leaf…
Try it, see how it changes your life…
Much Love…”

Our Visit with Psychic Surgeon John Of God In Abadiania, Brasil. The Miracle Man at Casa de Dom Inácio de Loyola

john of god abadiania brasil miracle man spiritual sergeries

john of god abadiania brasil miracle man spiritual sergeries 2

So, we are on our way to Rio, waiting for our flight… Brazil was on my (and, as I later found out, on Jan’s) “places to visit” list for quite a while. We were seduced by its world famous Carnival and lively traditions of music, dance and food.  This year the amazing country persuaded us end our delay and come for a few months of working vacation, for another reason – to meet The Miracle Man, as he is called by Robert Pellegrino-Estrich in his book, João de Deus, (“John of God”), a medium and psychic surgeon João Teixeira de Faria, based in a small town near Brasilia – Abadiania.

I am rarely attracted by media coverages of one healer or another, as these days every dog calls himself a healer and many publicize the heck out of their work. But my discovery of John of God started from an account shared by one of my best friends Carlis, and that was enough to make me plan the trip for us.

As a transformational coach involved in both physical and psycho-spiritual healing with our clients, I hoped for an opportunity to deepen my practice so I could pass it to my clients and students – other healers and coaches. In my coaching practice and PhysioEmoDynamics modality I don’t use “woo-woo” methods. All of my transformational work is based on experientially derived, and mainly scientific approaches. While energy shifting is part of every transformation, I mainly rely on practices that are “evidential” in nature. We collaborate with each client to achieve the outcome they are looking for… Yet, I intuited that a visit to meet the Brazilian Miracle Man is not optional – I must see his work with my own eyes and experience it.

Many have researched his work. Even Oprah traveled to Brazil to meet and talk with de Faria in 2013 to see his unexplicable miracles firsthand, and in Oprah’s Next Chapter, Season 2, Episode 116 aired a televised show entitled “John of God”.

Wayne Dyer shared that his experience of ‘awakening’ is partially attributed to the visit to Abadiania and the spiritual surgery John of God performed on him.

But for me it’s the experience of my friend Carlis that caused Abadiania to become a must see destination for this year’s working vacation Carlis and a friend visited the Casa de Dom Inácio de Loyola, the spiritual healing center run by John of God, years ago. His friend had late stage of cancer and Carlis was there to treat a relatively minor health condition…  He described his experience as nothing short of miraculous. John of God performed physical surgeries on both of them. There is no “clean room” in the center, heavily equipped and sterilized as you might see in “Grey’s Anatomy” (the entertaining medical soap opera Jan and I are watching while here in Brazil)  :-). All surgeries in the center are performed on a simple stage with no anesthesia. As Carlis shared, he and his friend both felt absolutely no pain and hardly had any bleeding during their surgeries, had no complications afterwards, and moreover – the surgery left no scars. And that’s considering that each surgery was performed by a single individual in a minute or two.

I was puzzled, intrigued, and… impatient to come to Brazil. It has become a lifestyle habit for us (Jan, my husband, and I) to take 2-3 month working vacations twice a year and visit a new places, experience a new culture, while continuing to serve our clients via videoconferencing. Last year we spent winter in the tropics as well, 2 weeks in Hawaii and more than 3 months in Panama. This time, Brazil, baby!  Right in time for Carnival and Jan’s 66th birthday. I am contemplating the Middle East for the end of the year, but we will see about that.

So, here we were, winter, 2015 – in Abadiania (with a long break partying in Rio de Janeiro with hundreds of thousands of others seduced by Carnival, tourists from all over the world).  Abadiania is a small, quiet town, but hosts thousands of visitors every week from all over the world who come to attend ceremonies in the healing center and be “touched” by “the entities of the Casa” working through De Faria (John of God).

What is quite intriguing is the fact that De Faria has no medical training. He describes himself as a “simple farmer”. He completed two years of education and spent a number of years traveling from village to village (chased in some cases) in the states of Goias and Minas Gerais.

De Faria says he was told by his spirit guides that he must expand his work to reach more people and spiritist medium Chico Xavier told him he should go to the small Goiás town of Abadiânia to fulfill his healing mission. Around 1978, when João first performed healings there, he just sat outdoors in a chair near the main road where people began to arrive seeking cures for their various illnesses and conditions. Gradually the numbers increased to thousands per day and he developed his center, The Casa de Dom Inácio de Loyola has since been visited by millions of people seeking healing.

De Faria, who says he acts only as a vehicle for God’s healing, performs his surgeries and ceremonies in trance and has absolutely no recollection of anything that happens during the procedures. He states:

“I do not cure anybody. God heals, and in his infinite goodness permits the Entities to heal and console my brothers. I am merely an instrument in God’s divine hands”.

Millions of people have consulted with de Faria since 1965. Up to 3,000 people per day stand and wait in line to have a moment with him.

3 times a week during the 2 months of our stay in Abadiania we attended various rituals and exchanged a quick word with John of God when time permitted (which was rare considering the long lines).

De Faria encourages research into his healing abilities in the hope that medical science can make use of his success in the treatment of humankind. At the Casa de Dom Inácio, where treatments take place, De Faria invites medical doctors to come onto the stage to observe his work. De Faria also regularly prescribes taking herbs and crystal baths, drinking blessed water, sitting for hours in silent meditation, breaking the habits that cause one’s illnesses and taking walks to a nearby waterfall as part of treatments.

When called for a “spiritual surgery” by De Faria, patients are offered the choice of “visible” or “invisible” operations. If they select an “invisible” operation (or are younger than 18 or older than 52) they are directed to sit in a room and meditate. De Faria and Entities of the Casa (spiritual physicians) also perform surgery on the actual patient via a surrogate when the actual patient is unable to make the trip.

A very small percentage of people choose a “visible” operation where De Faria operates without traditional anesthetic. Instead he says he uses “spiritual anesthetic” involving energized mineral water and the spiritual energies present, the latter which are provided by groups of volunteers who meditate in a separate room called the “current room”.

De Faria tells people not to stop taking any medicines or treatments prescribed by doctors and says not everyone he serves will be cured. Often the treatment includes capsules containing pure passion flower that are claimed to carry special blessed spiritual energy to support the individual’s healing process.

Whether herbs have any special power or not, I came with intention to suspend all disbeliefs and to give into the rituals and all processes established in the retreat. So, I happily took herbs…

Many consider the Entities of John of God advanced benevolent spirits, far above earthly laws and not subject to human regulations.

De Faria has undergone trials and scrutiny of his work. He has been arrested several times for practicing medicine without a license and has been jailed once.

John of God has travelled to other countries to perform healing ceremonies called Live Events. A Live Event is arranged similar to the Casa in Brazil so that the people can experience the same healing energy in other parts of the world. It has been stated that the entities that incorporate in Brazil are the same ones at Live Events.

I’ve noticed in recent months that all “invisible surgeries” are now called “Spiritual Interventions” (probably for legal reasons).

In Brazil if you receive a spiritual intervention you must rest in your room afterward for 24 hrs. At the live event you are only required to go to your room and rest for the remainder of the day but can return the next morning (if you have registered and paid for the next day.) The Entities know if you need to leave right after your surgery and do not have time to rest. In this case you will be given the spiritual protection to fly or drive home, but you must go straight home to rest.

Well, after mine I did my best to rest in my hammock. But you know Jan, how one can one rest when he is around?!  :-)

I understand that many read this with skepticism. I don’t blame you.

Practices such as inserting scissors or forceps deep into a nose or scraping the surface of an eye without an anesthetic or antiseptics have been scrutinized by medical authorities and skeptical investigators for years. But, in the end, even if all the miraculous recoveries are the result of a placebo effect, I say, more power to the healing rituals if they do heal.

I probably should also mention the following to give a more holistic picture about the center.

Financial side of affairs in Abadiania:

Meeting John [de] Faria is free, but he prescribes visits to crystal beds, at $8 a session, drinking blessed water at $1 a bottle, and taking blessed herbs, at $30+ a bottle. Some reports suggest that the center generates more than $10 million a year through these prescriptions and some donations.

What you make of it – is up to you… I did see that Casa de Dom Inácio de Loyola makes Abadiania “downtown” exist in its clean and tourist-ready shape and form because of financial support from the center… and being in the energy of friendly visitors, always dressed all in white, is a very healing experience that quiets the mind and nurtures the soul…

I will do my best to describe in more detail my personal experience at the casa and outcome of John of God’s surgeries on me…

Meanwhile, now on the way to Rio, after bathing in the energies of the Casa, I am contemplating and observing the changes in my physical and psychic body…

Tantra Lounge – Sex Talk Radio: How to have better love relationship and fulfilling sex life

Olga Kostrova & Jan Hutchins - Tantra Lounge - Sex talk radio

Want a world that is less violent and more loving? Looking for ways to release stress, eliminate tension and troubles from your life and have better love relationship and sex life? Tantrica and The PhysioEmoDynamics Institute founder Olga Kostrova and her husband Jan Hutchins join Tantra Lounge – Sex Talk Radio host the Divine Kika in this recording to talk about the energies of love relationship and truly fulfilling sex in the hope what they share will serve your path and help you let go of your imaginary problems, release stress, heal tension and live trouble-free life… in Love…

Video: Procrastination – Practical & Spiritual Aspects. Why do I procrastinate? How can I end procrastination?

Why do I procrastinate - How can I end procrastination

“When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.” So go our independent, individual lives. The PhysioEmoDynamics Institute’s work with people living in two or more minds, is to melt the separations and connect them with what they really love. Our PhysioEmoDynamic processes detoxify the emotional body and introduce dynamic energy back into the body and mind. Once people identify and begin to express authentic, loving attraction, decisions and results happen.
Please join our founder, Olga and her mate Jan as they meditate on beliefs about procrastination and the patterns they produce.

Awakened! Now What? – Olga Kostrova & David Hoffmeister on A Mystical Path, A Course in Miracles & How To Live With Trust

Awakened now what - David Hoffmeister Olga Kostrova Peace Awakening Enlightened Faith Trust 2

As you are having your morning cup of coffee or tea today, I invite you to share an hour with David Hoffmeister and me watching a new video in a segment “AWAKENED? NOW WHAT?!”.

David is a teacher and practitioner of A Course In Miracles, committed to a mystical path… He “let go of the world” and renounced decades ago, leaving his life up to the “Creator”. Now he is a catalyst for community of the Messengers of Peace currently reside in Kamas at the Living Miracles Metaphysical Center. We step into a mystical path through various disciplines, some – religions… yet, they all point to the same Truth… David’s path was inspired by Christian foundation. In 1991 David was impelled to make a leap of trust and to begin traveling around the United States and Canada, sharing his clarity of understanding related to A Course in Miracles. He followed “Jesus’” instructions to “become as a child,” allowing himself to be totally dependent on the “Holy Spirit” for money, transportation, shelter, food and the words to speak in countless ACIM gatherings, churches, metaphysical and spiritual groups and a host of holy encounters with persons who knew nothing of the Course. David found that it was his constant joy and peace that was the best teacher in all encounters, and that it was this peace that all his brothers and sisters were seeking.

100 Questions Every Entrepreneur Has To Ask Himself: My Effect On Success Or Failure Of My Venture, Beyond The Feasibility Of A Product & Business Tactics

Effect On Success Or Failure Of My Venture, Beyond The Feasibility Of A Product & Business Tactics

Effect On Success Or Failure Of My Venture, Beyond The Feasibility Of A Product & Business Tactics

Ask Yourself… How am I in the way, in many different ways?

Let’s look at the effect of your SELF-IDENTITY & EGO:

The Ego identity fears failure, because failure is viewed as a bad reflection on the self. The wise leader needs to create distance from Ego fears and defenses to make sure they don’t get in the way of success.

Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Is there anyone I am trying to impress? Is it preventing me from doing things I want to try? Is it because I want to appear worthy of their attention or respect? Do I want power or social status?
  2. Am I insecure? If so, can I figure out how to overcome these feelings? Failure is not in itself a problem as much as is your perspective on it.
  3. Have I ignored others’ feedback about myself or my business practices because I didn’t want to admit failure? Could I have learned more from the feedback if I took it with a view toward learning, rather than taking it personally?
  4. Do I actually have the skills to complete the task? Are there areas for improvement? Is there anything in the way of me developing emotional intelligence, the latest technical skills, or leadership practices?
  5. Do I go beyond my comfort zone, or do I choose to spend most of my time with those who are like me? Do I take a risk and meet new people in my professional ecosystem, especially those who seem different from me?
  6. Do I hold on to control too tightly? Have I learned that control is an illusion? Can I delegate to others, and trust others to do a job?
  7. Do I micromanage? If so, why? Can I overcome that mistrust and recognize that others can do the job better when taught, encouraged and given space to grow into?
  8. Do I think I know more than others? If so, can I recognize times that has proved to be a liability?
  9. Am I humble, or do I feel a need to boast? Can I see how this might isolate me or make me a less effective leader?
  10. Do I actively seek out those who will tell me the hard truth about myself? Or do I shy away from constructive criticism?
  11. Do I acknowledge others for their success and recognize those who helped me to get where I am today?
  12. Do I listen to my employees and seriously consider their suggestions, either about myself or the business, or do I unconsciously dismiss, argue or disagree with what they are saying?
  13. Do I feel the need to lead every meeting? Why would anyone else bother to or risk talking after the boss has offered his/her opinion?
  14. Do I reflect on my shortcomings and try to figure out ways to overcome them? Do I work to better myself? Do I ask others for ways to improve myself?
  15. Do I ever apologize? If not, why not? Do I see myself as above apologizing? This can lead to unhealthy relationships with others and failure in your business and personal life.
  16. Do I expect others to apologize for minor mistakes? Is it to make myself feel superior? If so, recognize that just because someone apologizes does not mean that they respect you or “see the error of their ways.”
  17. Do I acknowledge others’merits and capabilities, or do I mostly focus on my own? Do I generously share credit with others, or do I prefer to take all the credit for myself?
  18. Am I reluctant to accept responsibility? Is it because I don’t want to be seen in a bad light? Shying away from responsibility can make you look worse than if you owned up to your mistakes. Not taking responsibility means you miss out on great learning opportunities and fail to develop over time.
  19. Do I consider myself to be a confident person? Do I challenge myself to get over my insecurities so they don’t keep me from reaching my goals?
  20. Do I seek out the emotional support of others when I am frustrated or feel the need to vent? Do I recognize that relationships are important to my well-being, and consequently, to the success of my business?
  21. Do I take the time to listen to employee complaints, or have set up a system of anonymous reviews? Do I take these reviews seriously, and work to not take them personally? Reviews are important, and the health of a company rests on the interpersonal relationships of its employees.
  22. Do I refuse to try new things or ways, because I fear the judgements of others?
  23. Do I try to connect ideas and individuals between departments, to create a more collaborative environment in my company? Collaboration is essential for building up a company and making it more effective.

Sounds familiar? Book your introductory coaching session and let’s discuss your needs.

Now… Let’s talk about your BLIND SPOTS:

Blind spots prevent you from seeing things as they actually are. Blind spots also prevent you from seeing yourself clearly, keeping you from understanding how to become a better, more successful leader. Blind spots are by definition impossible for you to see, so they are hard to uncover, and even harder to overcome, but they can be handled by engaging objective, constructive outside perspective.

Ask yourself these questions to identify your blind spots:

  1. Do you believe based on data, or based on something you think or feel is true? Do you choose data that fits in with what you already believe?
  2. Do you question yourself, act as your own devil’s advocate? Keep asking questions to get at the details and what needs to be focused on.
  3. Do you invite your team to question your thoughts, and encourage them to suggest alternatives? Are you really open to suggestion?
  4. Would you rather go do things alone rather than ask for others’input?
  5. Do actively seek to pick up on the feelings and thoughts of those around you? A major blind spot is being unaware of the unintended consequences and effect on others of your behaviors. If you are unaware you might overreact when others act frustrated, hurt, angry, or upset.
  6. Do you bottle things up? Do you avoid difficult conversations?
  7. Can you accurately judge when you are clear, making your point and being understood by others? If not, why not?
  8. Do you get out of your comfort zone and away from routines?
  9. Do you blindly respect hierarchy? Or do you understand superiors can make mistakes and are human?
  10. Can you see things from the customers’perspective?
  11. Do you give up too easily if things don’t go well right away?
  12. Are you consistently proactive and disciplined?
  13. Does fear cause you to“win at all costs”, cheat others, bully employees, never rest?
  14. Do you feel angry or resentful when faced with problems?
  15. Do you ever make assumptions about people, including assuming you know all about them and their abilities? Are you stuck in the past about how you evaluate others and yourself, or do I see people, things and yourself, as dynamic and capable of transformation?
  16. Do you spend time learning how to improve the way we communicate and express ourselves to each other? Being able to communicate effectively and with empathy is the best way to establish and maintain solid relationships.

Understand your COGNITIVE BIASES:

Cognitive biases are patterns of thinking that are shortcuts, or heuristics, that the brain uses. They save time and are efficient, but they can cause issues because they are not rooted in rational problem solving. Cognitive biases are quick and intuitive, but prone to error.

Ask yourself these questions and do these things:

  1. Do I pause to consciously question myself and pick apart my thoughts? Confirmation bias is a human tendency to take the first piece of information we come across and process it in ways that fit our current model of thinking or of knowledge. To solve this bias, become your own devil’s advocate.
  2. Am I really looking at all the information before making a decision, or am I just picking the information and focusing on the things that fit my preconceived notions? This is again confirmation bias at work.
  3. Keep a decisions diary. Write down your thought processes relating to a decision. Then regularly sit down and ask yourself these questions as you go through past entries: Did my thought process make sense? What can I learn from what worked and what didn’t? Is there something that would work better, knowing what I know now?
  4. Am I wanting to be part of the group, or keep the harmony within a group to the point where it’s led to irrational thinking and poor decision-making. Find ways to encourage independent thought, both in others and yourself. Ask yourself: am I inhibiting myself from going along with the crowd, or am I pushing boundaries and asking the hard questions?
  5. Do I agree with what is happening or what is being planned on, or am I just going along because everyone else is. Have I thought for myself or have I simply gone with the flow? Bandwagon effect is the cousin of groupthink. In the bandwagon effect, people adopt a certain belief the more others do. This is why meetings can be so unproductive.
  6. Always ask yourself whether there are ways to improve XYZ, because there surely are. Choice-supportive bias is when you tend to view your choices and decisions as being positive and good, even if there are apparent flaws. If necessary, consult others, including customers, and seriously consider what they say.
  7. Am I judging someone as insensitive, unproductive, indifferent, or any other quality, or have I fully considered their circumstances? Fundamental attribution error is when you attribute someone’s behavior as being an intrinsic quality of their personality rather than attributing their behavior to the situation they are in. Knowing what people are going through will help you to understand them, and help you approach them in more productive ways.
  8. The Galatea effect is where people either perform in direct relation to what they think they can do. This is similar to Ford’s famous quote, “Whether you think you can or cannot, you’re right.”Do you envision yourself succeeding, and instead of focusing on all the ways you could fail, think about performing well and succeeding?
  9. Do I impatiently demand immediate results, or can I wait to get bigger and better results? Hyperbolic discounting is the tendency of people to want a payoff sooner, rather than waiting for a larger payoff later. This is similar to the marshmallow experiment on delayed gratification, where young children were given the opportunity to have either one marshmallow immediately, or wait a few minutes and get two marshmallows. The children who could wait proved more successful in life.
  10. Am I focusing on all the things I have done wrong, or do I take the time to appreciate positive events and successes? Negativity bias is where people place more emphasis on negative things rather than on positive ones.
  11. Outcome bias is the tendency to judge a decision based on the outcome rather than the process of decision-making. Even if you win a lot of money gambling, is gambling really the best way to make money?
  12. Have I truly given myself enough time? Planning fallacy is the tendency to underestimate how much time it will take to complete a task. Make sure you give yourself enough time to complete a given task.
  13. Am I doing something just to prove I am independent of someone with whom I work? Reactance is the desire to do the opposite of what someone else wants you to do to prove your independence from them.
  14. Does new information have more clout than old information, or is the new info lacking something that the old info provided? Recency is the tendency to weigh more recent information more heavily than previous information.
  15. What checks are in place to help you resist temptation? Restraint bias is the tendency to overestimate how much restraint you will have in the face of temptation.
  16. Have I spoken to others about how to manage their perceptions? Selective perception is when you allow your expectations to affect how you perceive the world.
  17. Am I focusing only on what has gone well, rather than taking the time to learn from mistakes? Self-enhancing transmission bias is the tendency to relay your successes more than failures. This leads to false perceptions and can lead to inaccurately assessing a situation.
  18. Am I being fair and open to others, or have I made unconscious judgments about them based on some quality? Stereotyping is a common bias where people expect a certain group to have certain qualities, even though the qualities are not accurate or apparent.
  19. Can I admit I don’t know it all? Shock and awe bias is the tendency to believe that our intelligence is enough to solve a problem or complete a task.
  20. Do I blindly obey those in higher positions, because I am afraid to speak up? Obedience bias consists of following those in authority, because they are viewed as being more competent and powerful.


Ask yourself these questions:

  1. What if I could not fail? What kind of life would I go for?
  2. What if I do fail? What are the consequences? Do I know how to emotionally handle failure?
  3. Do I take failure personally, or have enough perspective to go back with an impartial eye and see if there was something I could have done better? What about what others could have done better?
  4. Am I comfortable giving criticism to others with empathy? Do I shy away from the responsibility, because I am afraid of not being liked? Supportive assessments benefit people and help them improve their functional skills.
  5. Am I comfortable receiving criticism from co-workers and not taking it personally?
  6. Am I afraid to negotiate? Do I shy away from asking for a raise?
  7. Do I value my worth, see myself as an asset to the company? If not, do I try to build up my skills? If I don’t, no one will.
  8. Do I envision myself succeeding? It’s an important aspect of neuroscience: if you see yourself, step by step, succeeding in a plan, you will increase your chances of succeeding. It is important to envision yourself reaching your goals, in order to actually reach them.
  9. What might be holding me back? Is there anything I can do right now to begin moving toward success?
  10. Say you did fail: was there anything that went right in this failure? Make each event a source of knowledge and growth.
  11. Is there anything I can do to make sure I reach my goals? Were there specific obstacles or false beliefs I have that got in the way? Can I change those false beliefs so they don’t continue getting in the way?
  12. Are there any “crazy ideas”I don’t try out because I’m afraid? Is it something I can try out right now?
  13. Was my biggest failure a lack of discipline, not following up with customers or clients, not keeping in touch with contacts, etc.? What can I do to make sure I don’t continue making those errors? What caused the errors in the first place?
  14. Is there anything I can do to make sure I don’t fail? Have I seriously considered hiring or consulting experts? How do I feel about asking for help?
  15. Looking back on the past year, is there anything I would have done differently? Am I doing the same thing this year I did last, or have I improved?
  16. Is there anything in my business that I need to let go of, such as a product that is no longer feasible or viable? Is there a way to replace such a product with a better, more viable one?
  17. If you didn’t have to worry about time or money, what would you do differently? After thinking about those things, now ask yourself, how could I realistically still do those things, factoring in time and money?
  18. If I didn’t have to follow the rules, what would I do differently? Get in the mindset of “Rules be damned”for a moment, and brainstorm. Following the rules can create mental blocks against improvement. Ask yourself if you have been following the rules to the point where you are doing the same things but never improving.
  19. Have I played recently? Have I “let loose”in healthy ways? If not, ask yourself why. Am I afraid? Do I just not think it’s important? Do I think I don’t have time? Play is important to creativity and improvement. Author Roger Von Oech wrote, “Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father.”
  20. Do I only learn things to be a Jack-of-all-trades? Or do I seek to be a master-of-something?
  21. Ask yourself if there are other companies, or even other people doing similar things you are doing. Look at them not only as competitors, but as potential collaborators.
  22. Before I start a project, what’s my planning process? What are all the steps I need to take from start to finish to complete this project? How can I make room for modifications?
  23. Do I have a backup plan? Redundant planning is essential for success.
  24. Do I trust others to complete tasks for me? Do I outsource to save myself stress?
  25. Do I have the knowledge to execute my plans? If not, are there others who can teach me? Can I find courses online? What about using Khan Academy, Coursera, iTunesU, MITWorld Open Courseware, etc. to teach me the things I need to succeed? What about engaging with an Executive Coach?
  26. Do I make good use of conferences in my field, to learn more about new things and to make new connections? It is important to continue learning and developing relationships with those in your field. Asking others for their input can help you.
  27. Do I procrastinate? When you find yourself procrastinating, sit down with a journal or piece of paper, or in front of your computer and ask yourself, is there a reason I don’t want to start? Am I afraid? Bored? Feeling lazy? Disbelieve your thoughts and feelings and discover ways to overcome them. When we procrastinate, there is always a reason, even if it is simply a matter of not being interested in the task.
  28. Do I follow a code of ethics? Ethics is important in a company and keeps relationships productive and healthy.
  29. Do I take breaks from my tasks, especially when I hit mental roadblocks? Do I recognize that taking a step back can bring me more clarity? Breaks are healthy, and are not a sign of laziness. Moving is a simple way to get blood flowing, relax, and interact with other colleagues. Or do I sit at my desk most of the day, hurting my health and reducing my productivity?
  30. Do I take the time to meditate throughout the day, and have tried to make it a daily habit? Meditation can help us focus, stimulate creativity and reduce stress.
  31. Do I use my lunch break effectively to get outside, to walk around, get some exercise, take a refreshing walk in a park, go out with friends, meet a spouse for lunch and/or catch up on the day?

Create the environment of SOCIAL SUPPORT:

Social support is important in the best of times, and in the worst of times. You need a solid group of people to support you in your successes and failures.

Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Do I have friends who are willing to listen to me? Do I feel heard? Do I feel like people care about me? Do I try to make others feel heard and attended to?  Do I value relationships and recognize they’re important for my success? We need healthy relationships to prosper.
  2. Are there mentors in my life? Is there anyone who can guide me objectively? We all need guidance. Having someone who is more experienced to guide us is a great asset in life, a good source of learning and encouragement.
  3. Does my social support criticize? Or do they encourage me when I need them to? Do I take the time to encourage them in their endeavors? We all need to feel encouraged. When we do not feel so, we can become discouraged, and that can lead to procrastination of tasks, or even abandonment. Conversely, we also need to encourage others in their goals, to help them work through harder times.
  4. Does my social support tell me the truth without being harsh? We all need those whom we can trust to tell us the truth without necessarily shielding us from it.
  5. Do I ever express gratitude to my social support? Do I actively tell them I am thankful to have them around me, supporting me? If not, why?
  6. Do I regularly keep in touch with my social support, or do I only go to them when I need something from them? Can this lead to them feeling “used and unappreciated?”
  7. Do I befriend those who seem like they are on the fringes of the social environment? Do I make them feel welcome? Am I warm and engaging?
  8. If I’m the one feeling on the fringes of the social environment, am I making an effort to connect with others or do my actions only serve to keep me on the fringes?
  9. Do I strike up conversations with strangers? Do I learn something from them? Do I try to make a point to learn something new every day from those around me?
  10. Do I only send out emails to coworkers, or do I visit their desks? Do I have “water-cooler conversations?”If the business is virtual, do I schedule meetings on Skype or Facetime? Perhaps in person?
  11. Do I give back anything to my social support, or do I mostly take?

Sounds familiar? Book your introductory coaching session and let’s discuss your needs.

36 Benefits Of Executive Coaching For Entrepreneurs Seeking Excellence & Peak Performance

Benefits Of Executive Coaching For Entrepreneurs Seeking Excellence & Peak Performance

Benefits Of Executive Coaching For Entrepreneurs Seeking Excellence & Peak Performance

So, by now you are fascinated by the PhysioEmoDymamics framework. Great… but if you think it is good only as a self-healing modality, you are mistaken. It’s a framework integrated in our intuitive coaching methodology that we offer to our clients – entrepreneurs, executives, artists, and other coaches.

Do you know that former Google CEO Eric Schmidt says the best advice he ever got was to get an executive coach? Bill Gates emphasizes that everyone should have a coach. Venture capitalist Fred Wilson is also advocates coaching.

Benefits of executive coaching for companies seeking excellence and performance:

  1. Individual transformation to excellence
  2. Development of future leaders for the organization
  3. High performing, effective, enjoyable organizations
  4. Culture that values continuous learning and improvement
  5. Individual attention, expression and acknowledgement
  6. Expanded thinking via dialogue with a curious outsider
  7. Self-awareness, including blind spots, unconscious patterns and self-deceptions
  8. Accountability for self-development
  9. Just-in-time learning, real-time feedback
  10. “Hard,” bottom-line  results include – greater productivity, faster promotions, bigger profits
  11. Insights – about yourself, how you’re perceived, how you can improve
  12. More action – advancing faster and with greater precision
  13. Space to hear your own voice, talk something through and receive perspective
  14. Awareness of perspectives, beliefs, habitual feelings and attitudes that may be holding you back
  15. Support and confidence to “lean in” and make bold moves
  16. Clarity on shared values and what you stand for, which leads to greater clarity and conviction
  17. Ideas for ways to improve that you may not otherwise be able to see because of blind spots
  18. Emotional support, empathy, and encouragement – the workplace feels less lonely
  19. The cold truth others are afraid to tell you
  20. Third-party moderating and facilitation for reviews, strategic planning, and conflict resolution
  21. Support for improving specific skills
  22. Reduce turnover, attract and retain top performing staff
  23. Improved organizational resilience
  24. Perception of management as being committed to employees’ growth and success
  25. Improved employee morale, commitment and productivity
  26. Better client relationships
  27. Executives learn how to coach their teams, build relationships and inspire productivity
  28. Enhanced reputation and ability to compete within industry
  29. Positioned for continued growth and success
  30. Clearly identify executive strengths and development needs
  31. Create strategies and action plans and provide accountability to keep management on track
  32. Adopt and/or reinforce executive leadership competencies crucial to the organization’s culture
  33. Positive and sustainable behavior changes toward better cooperation, communication
  34. Enhanced career planning and development with an action-oriented plan for individuals
  35. Create better work/life balance
  36. Get regular ongoing feedback and support through ongoing executive coaching that assures professional growth

Sounds interesting? Book your introductory coaching session and let’s discuss your needs.

Becoming a conscious, mindful leader: How to overcome self-centric tendencies

conscious leadership

What does it take to become a conscious leader?

Sensitive strength, transformational perspectives, sustainable practices and interpersonal emotional intelligence are all needed for the safe, sane, less violent world we’re working to inspire here at the PhysioEmoDynamics (PED) Institute. We constantly examine our motives to keep our actions in line with our values and in this video meditation, Jan and I examine the considerations and examples that help us understand what it takes to be a conscious leader. Please let us know what we could do better and what other subjects you’d like us to investigate.

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